It's what I do...

Actually I don't really know what I do anymore. Two weeks ago I was told they were letting my assistant go. Serious bummer!

Then I was told that they were bringing someone from the Program Management team into Case Management (what I do/did). There was also an opening in our SIU (Special Investigative Unit) for someone. So rather than putting that Program Manager into the SIU position, they moved me to SIU. They divided up my 85 plus files among five Case Managers and within 24 hours I had a no files and a new desk.

So I have been working in the SIU department for a little over a week now (feels like an eternity in some ways). I still feel somewhat conflicted over this 'move'. I think part of it is because I didn't have a choice. I was told "you are going to help SIU". The other part is because they took my salaried position and made me hourly. BUT they didn't change my pay, I just get paid on an hourly basis now. This pretty much makes NO sense to me because they'll end up paying me more for the overtime I work.

The Silver Lining: The last few months I was in Case Management I wasn't happy. It affected my entire life. I was miserable at work, miserable when I'd come home and I'd wake up at night thinking about my CCBR, negative TQS, or a file that just wasn't going as well as I would like it to. Being a case manager is a difficult job. You're the middle man between the field investigator and the Client. You're held responsible for what the field investigator does or doesn't do and yet you have no control over what that field investigator physically does or says.

Let me add, that it's not just one file we're talking about. Most case managers have 150 files open in their inventory at any given time (my inventory just happened to be low at the time of this change). So that's 150 Clients, 150 investigators, 150 RAMs (sales people) looking at your file - needing YOU at ONE time.

In my new role, I do all the same duties plus everything my assistant did for me, but my name isn't on the final product. I'm busier than ever before. The days fly by. I still work with all my favorite investigators, but the best part is I'm working with the best of the best of Investigators. None of this hand holding, baby sitting stuff it felt like I was doing before. These guys get a file and run with it.

I'm now the assistant to the VP of the SIU Department. He works in the heart of New York City, in some skyscrapper with a great view I'm sure. I'm here (piddly old desk w/ no window) and he's there, but it's working. We're ironing out some details, but where he lacks (manuevering our software, knowing the field investigators and their abilities, and the day to day tasks that need to be done in order to get a final product to the client), I make up for it. Meanwhile he handles the gameplans and the all the elbow rubbing with the Clients. I see a good future between us.

The catch is...I like what I'm doing. I like that I can leave at 4pm everyday and ... JUST LEAVE. No more waking at night thinking about my files. No more worries about making my goals. I'm not worried that the next "mix up" with one of my files will be my last. I'm told everyday what a great job I'm doing and how it's much appreciated. I sit in my own pod, with my computer, I do my job and I leave. The clincher is...I'm still getting paid the exact same I was before when I was miserable.

When I got the email over two weeks ago that changes were coming, I felt like I was part of the changes. I was. I remember talking to Matt about it and we both agreed that we trust that whatever happens is part of God's plan and we just need to accept it. Let's be honest, we couldn't survive on just Matt's salary alone. So I here I sit, 2.5 weeks later and I'm happier than I was before. Isn't God great?

ETA: Typing this all out, putting my thoughts out there...well it's made me very clear on what I do now. You probably noticed my transition in thinking as I was typing this all out. I started out bitter, unclear and now you couldn't send me back to case management. :)