My Granny

Sorry I'm just updating this as it's the first time I've really sat down at the computer in a couple of days.

My Grandmother, my mom's mom, passed away Friday November 14 after a week long battle with a serious case of pneumonia and on top of that congestive heart failure, renal failure and COPD. She was surrounded by her seven children and their spouses, her nephew and his wife, her seven grandchildren and their spouses and her 3, soon to be 4, great grandchildren. I'd venture to say there were 20 of us standing outside her ICU room as the medical staff removed her ventilator, she closed her eyes and she took her last breaths.

It's weird for me to think about the last time I walked the halls of that hospital. I remember the children playing in the garden, the humidity of that September evening, stopping every few feet with contractions, filled with excitement and nervousness. In the very place that I gave life, she lost hers.

What's even harder for me to grasp is the fact that neither of my parents have living parents now. My Grandfathers died before I was born. My Dad's mom, Nana, passed away last August. Ironically she died of similar symptoms my Granny died off, but their deaths seem far from similar. For Nana there was no ventilator, no feeding tube, no machines and no alarms. She passed quietly early on the morning of August 10. I'm not sure, but I believe she was alone when she passed and that makes me very sad. Granny's death was anything but that in some ways. While her passing was still somewhat peaceful, she was surrounded by so many but seeing her on a ventilator- wanting to talk to you, understanding what you are saying to her, responding with her eyes, but not being able to hear her last words was the hardest part of being there...for me at least. I'll never forget being alone with her Thursday evening, she opened her eyes and I was standing there. She winked. I held her hand. I told her about Savannah walking and how her eyes got bigger and she nodded her head as if she understood. I told her I loved her and the look in her eyes....I'll never forget it. I stayed with her until she fell back asleep because I didn't want her to open her eyes again and I'd be gone. We both knew that it would be the last time we would see each other.